For Gentlemen: I know this is supposed to be a business format and the blogs should be directed toward professional development, but this one is not. I am moved to write this because of questions I have been asked by men, recently, in my live seminars as well as my webinar training sessions.
This is about relationship and things I have learned working with thousands of people and listening to what creates success and what creates struggle. I am not the smartest guy around but even I have learned and seen some very clear patterns all our behaviors.
Here is something I have learned I want to share, completely off the business tract.. I hope this contributes to a great relationship for you.
Women need intimacy to have sex, men need sex to have intimacy. If you want to have more sex, gentlemen create more intimacy in your relationship.
Here is my experience of what works:
If you want to have some great sex, first, try kindness and courtesy. These seem to work really well. I think we are so busy and familiar with our partners that we forget to be kind and polite. Great sex starts way before the bedroom. Opening a door, pushing in a chair, kind comments go a long way to create trust and intimacy. Do you think this is old fashioned? Try it anyway.
The next idea is called “The honest conversation”. Most conversations are actually formats where people try to prove they are “right”. If you can have a conversation without judgment and without needing to be “right” you are going a long way toward intimacy. If you can have a conversation without try to “fix” the other person or solve their problems you have entered that place of rarefied air called actual communication.
Another idea: don’t expect a lot sex when your partner works all day, takes care of kids, has a busy life or works as your business partner. The last thing she wants to do is have sex with a business partner. It just isn’t going to happen. Don’t get frustrated, it will make things worse.
A Solution: Great sex comes from great connection. Be a friend and a loving partner. separate your work life and household business from your play time. Don’t argue about money, and don’t try to nit-pick your partner, most people are doing the best they can in the moment.
Work on transforming yourself and not on improving the other person and things will work out great.
I know these are gross generalizations and your situation is completely different…right?…
Anyway, I’ll get back on the transformational leadership tract next week.
Hope this has some value. Pass it on to other men.
Mentor, Author and President, SeminarSystems.com
A note for you: For us men it is especially difficult to ask for assistance or guidance about relationship. I want to offer you a free thirty minute private conversation about your relationship challenge. Sometimes a fresh perspective is all we need to get everything back on tract. Please click link below choose a time that works for you.
Private Mentoring and Relationship Coaching for Men: click for a free thirty minute conversation with Patrick Dean… Click here: https://www.timetrade.com/book/LRZ8G