Lets Think Differently

images-6I was thinking this morning about actions I can take this week to make the world a better place. And, if I change my thinking and changed my action, is it actually possible for one person to make a difference?

What thinking could we change that would cause a shift in the world…

What if we really believed the following statements are possible and we took action on these beliefs?

War is not inevitable.
Poverty is not a natural part of the human condition.
Abundance and security for everyone is possible.
Crime does not always have to be with us.
Love is a normal condition of human beings.
I make a difference by my thoughts and actions.
The destruction of the earth in not inevitable.
I can still love people even when they do wrong things.
We can get along with less and have happier lives.
It is possible for people to change their minds.
With some guidance and training people can have amazingly satisfying lives.solder and woman

Believing these are possible, I think the biggest risk is being ridiculed and called idealistic and
impractical. Most skeptics will say we have no evidence that these can occur. If we believe the opposite of these are true (and judging by results I say we do) I think it is about time that we join together and change the entire conversation about what is possible. Would you join me in this?

Patrick Dean, seminarsystems.com

Mr. Natural Mentor Tutor Very Small(Question: Are you Ready? I am looking for 5 people who are committed to make a difference…have a vision, message or group they want to inspire. Do you need experienced assistance in creating some extraordinary results?  If you want to talk about being mentored by myself or my team click the link and set up a free 30 minute call, this could just the call and there is no obligation. Click Here: https://www.timetrade.com/book/LRZ8G

 

For Gentlemen Only: You Want Great Sex?


erotic SamuraiFor Gentlemen
: I know this is supposed to be a business format and the blogs should be directed toward professional development, but this one is not. I am moved to write this because of questions I have been asked by men, recently, in my live seminars as well as my webinar training sessions.

This is about relationship and things I have learned working with thousands of people and listening to what creates success and what creates struggle. I am not the smartest guy around but even I have learned and seen some very clear patterns all our behaviors.

Here is something I have learned I want to share, completely off the business tract.. I hope this contributes to a great relationship for you.

Women need intimacy to have sex, men need sex to have intimacy. If you want to have more sex, gentlemen create more intimacy in your relationship.

Here is my experience of what works:

If you want to have some great sex, first, try kindness and courtesy. These seem to work really well. I think we are so busy and familiar with our partners that we forget to be kind and polite. Great sex starts wayedo_samurai_14 before the bedroom. Opening a door, pushing in a chair, kind comments go a long way to create trust and intimacy. Do you think this is old fashioned? Try it anyway.

The next idea is called “The honest conversation”. Most conversations are actually formats where people try to prove they are “right”. If you can have a conversation without judgment and without needing to be “right” you are going a long way toward intimacy. If you can have a conversation without try to “fix” the other person or solve their problems you have entered that place of rarefied air called actual communication.

Another idea: don’t expect a lot sex when your partner works all day, takes care of kids, has a busy life or works as your business partner. The last thing she wants to do is have sex with a business partner. It just isn’t going to happen. Don’t get frustrated, it will make things worse.

Nancy Patrick KissingA SolutionGreat sex comes from great connection. Be a friend and a loving partner. separate your work life and household business from your play time. Don’t argue about money, and don’t try to nit-pick your partner, most people are doing the best they can in the moment.

Work on transforming yourself and not on improving the other person and things will work out great.

I know these are gross generalizations and your situation is completely different…right?…

Anyway, I’ll get back on the transformational leadership tract next week.

Hope this has some value. Pass it on to other men.

Patrick Dean

Mentor, Author and President, SeminarSystems.com

Patrick DeanA note for you: For us men it is especially difficult to ask for assistance or guidance about relationship. I want to offer you a free thirty minute private conversation about your relationship challenge. Sometimes a fresh perspective is all we need to get everything back on tract. Please click link below choose a time that works for you.

Private Mentoring and Relationship Coaching for Men: click for a free thirty minute conversation with Patrick Dean… Click here: https://www.timetrade.com/book/LRZ8G

 

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Towards Elimination of Insane Behavior

Mr. NaturalWhen I read about the craziness going on in the world I usually shake my head and say something like: “Oh, that’s human nature” or “What is wrong with people.” Then I can go on reading and having my coffee without looking at myself and my responsibility for the condition of the world. More to the point, I don’t have to really look at how I can actually make a difference. After all, it is not my responsibility.

Do We Have Responsibility in Seemly Random Events?

After a painful self-examination and from my experience working with others, here is what I have concluded; We are responsible because we contribute to thinking, ideas and beliefs that are ineffective and part of the problem. Actually, as individuals we each contribute to the power of ineffective ideas by perpetuating them and agreeing with each other that they are “truths”.

Very Powerful Thinking That May Create A Problem

A very pervasive and powerful way of thinking is “an eye for an eye” or, put another way, the idea that everything has to match our idea of “fairness”.

When we are in pain, we can then justify causing others pain. We can justify causing others pain by assigning blame in the name of fairness or the “they should pay” way of thinking. In other words, we see ourselves as completely right when we say “they deserved it”. With this eye for an eye thinking it is easy to take the next step. We can justify not helping others or turning our back on them. We can stop being concerned about others. We can separate ourselves from all people we don’t agree with, or we don’t like or who act out. After all, they deserve it because that is what is “fair”.

In the name of “fairness” we want others to feel bad that they broke the rules. They “did it to me”. In that sense, we create a world where we pick out the people who should suffer. They should feel pain because they are “bad people”. These are the people that don’t deserve any help or sympathy because; in the name of “fairness” they should be in pain. So, we turn our backs on people who are acting out or doing crazy things. They are not like us. They should know better. Then, when extreme violence occurs, we all are surprised and appalled.

You and I are not going to pick up a gun and commit hideous acts of violence, but just think about how this way of thinking effects our relationships right now. To see the same beliefs in action all we have to do is look at how we withhold our love from one another when we determine they don’t deserve it. If we are honest, we all have a list of the “undeserving people” in our lives and hearts right now.

As I said, you will not pick up a gun and shoot them, but we often wound each other with words and actions. We wound each other with gossip and judgment. We wound each other by isolating and marginalizing people. Think about how this, “If you do this to me, I will do it to you”, thinking is so much part of our lives. You don’t have to look very far to see this thinking in action. Just read the newspaper, see the parade of desperate and isolated people and the things they do.

We can quickly see that everyone plays this game of “fairness”. The outcome of this game is justifying our behavior in the name of our being “right”. This results in lack of compassion and lack of connection for all of us.

A Different Way of Thinking

We may not ever be able to eliminate all insane behavior, but we can shift how we look at things so that more people feel there is somewhere to turn when feeling hopeless or angry. We can instill in our children that sense of responsibility towards one another, especially the weak and disadvantaged. We can understand that when people are afraid, lonely or lost they do some very crazy things. We also know that people have to account for their actions and pay the price, but it is not our place to add on more suffering to anyone’s life because they deserve it.

By speaking out and being honest, we begin the process of changing context and having a different influence on the world. My intention in this article is to be open and vulnerable with you. By sharing my thoughts I hope to creates a space for you to do the same. From this openness we can look ways to to be more responsible for our world.

Playing a Big Game..a Better World

Honest conversation and committed action are playing a “big game”. With Honest conversations, working on ourselves, and living with purpose we can change our thinking about what is possible for our world.

Our company Seminar Systems Inc. is committed to a more abundant and compassionate world. A world that works for everyone with no one left out.

We will continue to do mentoring, seminars and trainings which send great leaders into the world. These leaders will have the skill and commitment to serve others through their businesses, families, churches and communities.

Let’s all be a part of a movement that moves us towards understanding and living our purpose and making the difference we were born to make.

Patrick Dean

Mr. Natural Mentor Tutor Very Small

English Version: Would you like a copy of our book The Journey? $30.00 plus shipping.

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The Art of Walking Away

Mr Natural WhistlingSometimes we have a great idea. We go for it. But after a period of time (long or short) and a lot of effort we realize it is not going to work out.

Since we have been told to “never quit” or “real leaders never give up” how do we know when we need to be more committed or when to just throw in the towel?

I think that we need to pack it in when, after sincere commitment, and after giving it a good run the mechanism (the way we are doing something) isn’t producing the results.

The trick is to not to confuse the “mechanism” with our “purpose”. There are many ways to stay with our purpose in life without tying it to a specific way that things “have to look”.

It is probably a good time to stop when the mechanism becomes more important than the original purpose for doing it.

You may give up on a mechanism but I suggest you never give up your purpose!

Purpose can be expressed with many different mechanisms.

Sometimes even when things are working it is time to walk away. If something is draining your energy, both physically and spiritually the price for continuing my not be worth it.

The art of walking away may be a life saver some days.

Patrick Dean

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Seven Ways to Create More Joy in Life

Mr Natural WhistlingJoy is an experience that occurs in the absence of worry, fear and sadness. It is a natural condition when other things are removed. It isn’t something we have to force, manufacture or “work at”.

From my personal experience, (and from my experience being with thousands of people in my training and seminars) I want to share with you ways of thinking that will lead to more joy. These will also create less stress and a more calm and “drama” free experience of life.

Seven Ways to Create More Joy in Life

1. Quit blaming yourself for bad decisions. Certainly learn from them, and don’t make the same ones over and over. Remember, you probably made the best decision you could make in that moment, given the circumstances and your state of awareness at the time. Blaming yourself by hanging out in guilt is very self-indulgent. Sometimes we just have to feel sorry for ourselves and that is ok but try to cut down the amount of time you see yourself as a victim.

2. Knowledge that every good and bad event in life contributes to our character. This may sound simplistic, but there is a basic truth here.  You can handle these events with grace and courage or you can choose to be a victim to them. “things” happens, but what you make these “things” mean is your choice.

3. Live authentically. I have to confess to you that every time I took the easier, softer way, and not told the truth to othersJoy or myself, I created a lot less joy in my life.  You don’t have to be harsh with people, but certainly learn to make a stand for yourself.

4. I have learned that whining and moaning about how unfair life is will only get you a fan club of people around you who think the same way.

5. Live your purpose. If you are saying that I “don’t know my purpose” or “I am confused”, here is one you can use while you are figuring out your true purpose.  Live as if your life influenced hundreds of other people (it does). Live a compassionate and committed life, knowing that you can change other people’s lives just by how you live your life. Bring more love, compassion and commitment and less complaint to the planet.

6. I have found one constant in this world. Everything will change. No matter how bad or good things are going, it will shift. What you can always count on is change.  You are always at choice about how you think about change.

7. In the end, we are all in life together. Learn to give and receive.

Level II Mexico
Finally to eliminate messes and major problems as much as possible by following my friend Doug Pittman advice:  “Live your life as a question, to which the only answer is love.”

I think this is a life well lived.

Patrick Dean

Dillon Beach California

Limited Offer: Patrick Dean MA, in working with a limited number of clients as a mentor and tutor. Would you like a 30 minute free, private conversation to discuss challenges you may have in your business or personal life? Do you want more clarity? Just click here to choose a time. We can only accommodate the first 10 people so please click here to set up what could be a very interesting and life changing conversation:  

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Two Ideas That Have Transformed My Life: A Personal Message

Mr. NaturalMy life, Many Ups and Downs

I have now experienced in my life  many ups and many downs. I have lived a very lavish lifestyle and have lived hand to mouth.  I have owned Porsches and ridden the bus. I have owned real estate, had rentals and had to live with relatives. All of it has taught me some valuable lessons. I have also had the privilage of working with thousands of people in dozens of different countries. All of this has led me to a new “practice”.  Since I want to experience a life of contribution and peace, I am designing my life based on two principles; service and clarity.

Service

Service is my passing on to others (through mentoring and training seminars), what I have learned about success. I have seen what creates success, satisfaction, happiness, and a life of significance for some people. I have seen struggle with others. I have seen clear paths so that each person can create the life they want and deserve.

I will share what I have learned because I am committed to creating other great mentors and facilitators. People who will become more effective and reach more people than I ever could alone. “A world that works for everyone with no one left out” is our company’s vision. It may not be realized in my lifetime but I will continue to training world class leaders as long as I am able. This is my service.

Clarity

Clarity is the simplification of life. I cannot stress how much joy and freedom has entered my life since I made this commitment. This has meant getting rid of things I thought defined me, such as cars, houses and other stuff collected over the years. Downsizing distractions while focusing on purpose has made a huge difference in how well I sleep at night.

DSC02269Clarity also means being radically clear and honest in relationships. Saying what needs to be said in the moment, Not hanging on to drama and opinions as if they are important (when they are not!). To me clarity allows me to love fully and also to let go of mistakes more often. Clarity has to do with a clear definition of character as well. Wrestling with the question “What is really important to me” caused me some painful realizations, but in the end, has created peace in my life.

A Shocking Statement

One of the most freeing things I have learned is that we cannot control the final outcome of our relationships or our lives. A shocking statement for the goal setting and positive thinking groups, but I believe it is true. I love goal setting and positive thinking, but it is an illusion to think that we control everything all the time.

The amazing paradox here is knowing that the outcome may be different than we expected actually opens the path for bold and decisive action. If we know the outcome will take care of itself, we are free to be totally committed and passionate. Besides, the journey is much more enjoyable along the way when you aren’t always looking at the scoreboard.

My  life has been filled with the unexpected. If I can learn some lessons, live with great joy and great disappointment and not give either power over me, I am living an authentic life.

Message

Join me in simplification and clarity. Bring more peace and joy into life.  Get committed to the outcome you want, be passionate, be unreasonable, go for it, and the outcome will take care of itself.

Remember, It is ok that it won’t look the way you expected it to. Could be outrageously better!

Patrick Dean, 2014Patrick Dean, Co-Founder Seminar Systems

Patrick Dean is a  Master Trainer, seminar designer, mentor and author. If you are interested in a 30 minute free talk with him about the content, design and marketing of your seminar, training, workshop or any great idea you have,  he would love to talk with you. Very simple, please click on this URL and select a time that works for you:

Where Does Personal Power Come From?

Mr. NaturalIf you want to be powerful, that is, influence or create positive outcomes, you must understand the nature and source of real power. In this article we will talk about two main sources of power: our connection to others and the internal source that is confidence and certainty of purpose.

What gives us power is the fact that we have mutual needs that can only be satisfied by each other. We need water and food and shelter to live, but we also need love and social contact. This mutual interdependence is the source of power. You make a difference with people because you have something they want and they have something you want. This interdependence is what connects us but also can be the source of conflict. All conflict is about power.  Instead of dependence on others taking away our power, it is actually one of the sources of our greatest power.

Power by Service

If we know what the other person needs, we can have power by supplying them with what they need. Power is solder and womanthe result of influencing others through understanding and being of service. Power through service is something everyone can do; therefore everyone has an opportunity to experience power. Serving others also means taking care of you as well. Giving away your power with the need or desire to be liked approved of or for the illusion of control will diminish your ability to serve effectively.  Some of the greatest advancements in history are based in people looking at how they can use their power to serve others and taking action in that service. People who act by serving others in a positive way feel powerful and fulfilled in their lives.

Power by Awareness

Another source of power is the recognition (awareness) that we have an amazing influence on others. Our attitude, ethics, and personality affect others in a powerful way. If you want to confirm this, go through a day cranky and upset and see how that influences the attitude and reaction of people around you. Or go through a day being positive and upbeat, you will notice very quickly that you have power to affect people and they may not even know it.

Right WrongWe all know people who are committed to their attitude so strongly they influence a whole group either in a negative or positive way. Acknowledging that we influence people all the time is very important because it recognizes that we are responsible for our influence. This awareness is power in itself. You don’t have to be the president of a company, public official, have a lot of money or be a great athlete to know that you are very important.

Once acknowledged, the question is: How do we develop and use that power to get our needs fulfilled and at the same time leave the planet a better place?

The answer is to use power and influence to create a world that brings out the best in other people. If you leverage yourimages power it can be a force for good. Do not be afraid of your power and use it in a positive way.

Finally, power is living an authentic life. To follow your own vision and dreams and to be your own person is power. To think for yourself, to tell the truth, to keep your word, and to live with compassion is an exercise in power.

Personal power is a result of personal development. Never stop learning and walk through this world with power.

Opportunity: Would you like to talk about a challenges in your business and relationships, or how to get forward momentum on goals or dreams? Just click her for thirty minute free informal consultation with one of the seminar systems team. We would love to talk with you.

Click:

Patrick Signature_2
Patrick at Desk Small
Patrick Dean

Why Presentations Are Dull and What to Do About It

PowerpointMany presentation are dull, not because of the material or way the presentation are done, but because presenters don’t understand certain distinctions.

If you are going to make a presentation that really moves people to action you have got to understand the difference between motivation, information and transformation.

Without knowing these, presentations “wander” all over the place without really making a powerful point or the presentations become information dumps that leave people numb.

Remember, that a great presentation always has a call to action, a prices and benefits section and an opening that is a real attention grabber.

Also, don’t forget to include, stories, testimonials, a personal share, research, quotes, and humor!

These are all elements that separate a good presentation from an extraordinary presentation. I know for a fact that you don’t need to be a great public speaker to do  amazing presentations.

Mr. NaturalOffer: If you have an upcoming presentation, or you are doing some public speaking or you are having an important meeting, call me, I can assist you. (I do personal mentoring and tutoring and have worked with hundreds of speakers, trainers and business owners.)

If you want to have a free 30 minute consultation with me about the distinctions I talked about above, please feel free to click and choose a time:

Your success,
Patrick Dean

Ten Ways to Have Better Relationships Immediately!

IMG_0396(Here is a short exerpt from my book “The Journey”)

I suggest that one of the most centered, calm and joyful “states of being” comes from the knowledge that you are the source of your happiness. To create this state you must acknowledge yourself for your experience and individuality. This also means that you no longer hold others responsible for the quality of your life. Sometimes this goes against a lifetime of conditioning. When we let go of the need to “manipulate” others for our love, recognition, approval or even for power or significance, it frees us up for better relationships immediately!

The result of recognizing ourselves as the source of our happiness, is that it frees us up to love others unconditionally.

It also frees us up to be more compassionate and less judgmental. Imagine being in a gathering of people and you don’t need to “work” the crowd for significance, power, approval… you don’t need something from them. If you can do this it mean that you can use your energy to look at ways of really connecting with others, being of service or just enjoying other people.

Also, you can be open to seeing the gift in who they are.  You can be open to appreciating the unique person you are with. You can be free to speak your truth but also listen to what others are saying. You can make others feel important without needing them to make you feel important.

Finally, I am amazed at what I can learn from others when I actually listen and come from this place of “no need”

Mr. NaturalHere are ten practices that will create better relationship immediately: 

1. Stop looking to others as the source of your happiness or your value. You have inherited value given to you when you were born. You have a destiny to fulfill and some of it you will do alone. Respect others, even when you don’t think they deserve it.

2. Love others without needing to change them. Just because you think it is better for them doesn’t mean your love should be dependent on people following your advice or acting they way you would like them to.

3. Don’t put up with disrespectful or violent behavior. Walk away.

4. Don’t take what others say too seriously. There opinion is just an opinion. This goes for taking yourself too seriously as well.

5. Don’t try to be the authority in the room all the time. Haranguing everyone with your knowledge leaves you by yourself.

6. Give people room for to make mistakes.

7. Realize that kindness is a way of life. Don’t forget yourself in this.

8. Be yourself, speak your truth, but know there are always three truths: your truth, their truth and THE TRUTH.

9. Know you are at choice every minute. This is the most basic and hardest of practices.

10. Love with all your heart.

Start this today and you may see immediate changes in your relationships

I hope this is of value to you, Thank You

Patrick Signature_2

 

Patrick Dean

Patrick at Desk Smallp.s. I am doing a 30 minute free phone call with my friends to discuss my mentoring and tutoring program. If you want to have private conversation about your challenges, goals and ideas just click on this link and choose a time that works for you. 

 

Personal Power, Do You Have it?

On the BeachPower is the ability to change or influence an outcome.

There are different kinds of power. There is power by authority, like power given when a person has a title, or having a badge or wearing a uniform. Knowledge or experience gives power. Money is perceived as power; physical strength or athletic ability may give a person power.

Power is something people naturally desire. It just seems part of human nature. We want to feel important and influential. One of our greatest fears is that we don’t count or that we don’t matter and we have no real influence. Some of the most persistent problems in our world are generated by people who have the experience that they don’t really make a difference (feel powerless).

People act out…

When people feel they don’t matter or don’t have influence, some interesting things occur. They can act out for attention or become very cynical or resigned.  Sometimes people “power up” with money, manipulation or force to get recognized and feel powerful. These people want compliance from others as a sign of power, therefore their significance.

Many people simply give up the idea that they have any power of influence and become victims, living a life based in frustration and helplessness. They search for an escape or a little comfort but don’t really live fully. I think that we all can relate to these reactions because we all have felt overwhelmed at one time or another and have experienced feeling powerless.

The question is, do we have any real power and can we make a difference?

Power come from our mutual need for each other…

If you want to be powerful, that is, influence or create positive outcomes, you must understand the nature and source of real power. In this article we will talk about two main sources of power: our connection to others and the internal source that is confidence and certainty of purpose.

What gives us power is the fact that we have mutual needs that can only be satisfied by each other. We need water and food and shelter to live, but we also need love and social contact. This mutual interdependence is the source of power.

You make a difference with people because you have something they want and they have something you want. This interdependence is what connects us but also can be the source of conflict. All conflict is about power.  Instead of dependence on others taking away our power, it is actually one of the sources of our greatest power.

Using our power…..

Power by Service

If we know what the other person needs, we can have power by supplying them with what they need. Power is the result of influencing others through understanding and being of service. Power through service is something everyone can do; therefore everyone has an opportunity to experience power. Serving others also means taking care of you as well. Giving away your power with the need or desire to be liked approved of or for the illusion of control will diminish your ability to serve effectively. 

Some of the greatest advancements in history are based on people looking on ways they can use their power to serve others and taking action in that service. People who act by serving others in a positive way feel powerful and fulfilled in their lives.

Personal Power, Our attitude, Ethics and Personality…

Another source of power is the recognition that we have an amazing influence on others. Our attitude, ethics, and personality affect others in a powerful way. If you want to confirm this, go through a day cranky and upset and see how that influences the attitude and reaction of people around you. Or go through a day being positive and upbeat, you will notice very quickly that you have power to affect people and they may not even know it.

We all know people who are committed to their attitude so strongly they influence a whole group either in a negative or positive way.

Acknowledging that we influence people all the time is very important because it recognizes that we are responsible for our influence. This acknowledgement is power in itself. You don’t have to be the president of a company, public official, have a lot of money or be a great athlete to know that you are very important.

How do we develop and use that power to get our needs fulfilled and at the same time leave the planet a better place?…

The answer is to use power and influence to create a world that brings out the best in other people. If you leverage your power it can be a force for good. Do not be afraid of your power and use it in a positive way.

Another way to be powerful is to live an authentic life. To follow your own vision and dreams and to be your own person is power. To think for yourself, to tell the truth, to keep your word, and to live with compassion is an exercise in power.

Personal power is a result of personal development. Never stop learning and walk through this world with power.

In conclusion: Our power is based on our connection with others (and our planet), and that we can continue to develop influence by being of service and by living authentically.

God, Power and Our Gift…

Some people may ask where is God in all this. Isn’t God the source of all power?

God may be the source of everything but it is our responsibility to use the power God has given us. Connection and the ability to be compassionate and loving is a great gift. Power by service and living authentically is the highest acknowledgement of God’s gift that I am aware of.

We are also gifted with courage, determination, humility and love. These are sources of power that are always within us and always available. Even when you stand alone you are powerful if you recognize these amazing qualities within yourself.

Beginners Mind and Power…

Use your need to be powerful by influencing others in a positive way. Remember as well that seminars, training, classrooms, reading and listening are places for you to learn.

Knowledge is a source of power when put into action. Always have a beginners mind and keep discovering.

Patrick Dean

IMG_0396Patrick is currently Mentoring and Tutoring professionals who want to make a bigger impact with their vision.  Email to set up a no-obligation 30 minute appointment:  nancy@seminarsystems.com